October 04, 2023

What I did when I wasn't here

Co robiłam, gdy mnie tu nie było

I know that March is a bit late for summing up last year, but I decided that this is where I should start writing the blog. Or rather, why I wasn't at Belle for over half a year and what I was doing during that time. Last year was a year of changes for me. And although in hindsight we seem to know that almost every change is ultimately a change for the better, I greeted the beginning of last year with sadness and panic about what to do with myself.

Crisis varies from crisis to crisis

Anyone who is an artist knows what crisis and powerlessness are. What am I writing, anyone who has done anything for a long time knows what crisis and helplessness are like. During the bumpy road of running my own clothing brand, I encountered many doubts, bad days or the desire to drop everything and run away to the Bieszczady Mountains. Although if I were to run away somewhere, I would rather choose a place where it is warm all the time. However, these crises usually passed after a few hours or, in worse cases, days. It was the first time I had to deal with something that, despite the passage of time, did not want to disappear in any way. My bad mood, avalanche of unanswered questions and doubts about the sense of what I was doing lasted for several months and in January I finally decided to break up with Belle for some time.

There were many reasons, firstly, I had the impression that although I had been operating for several years, I was stagnant and for some reason my brand was not yet known around the world (well, maybe in Warsaw, the whole world was too much for me), secondly, I faced everything alone and I missed people around me who would help me, share the same problems, or give me energy when I lack it. Thirdly, I wondered whether working full-time would not have less stress, fewer responsibilities, and therefore my your happiness level will not be higher.

Although I have said many times that the idea of ​​designing clothes and running a clothing brand came to me spontaneously, it turned into a full-time job quite quickly. This means that although I had additional activities and assignments from time to time (if you want to know which ones, I will be happy to tell you one day), I have never worked full-time for any longer. Switching from running your own business to working full-time for someone seemed too radical to me, but believe me, it's much more difficult to find something meaningful part-time.


Hello work!

After quite a short time of sending my CV, I found a job in a social media agency. Why such an industry? Running my own clothing brand has certainly taught me a lot about self-organization, direct sales and running an online store, marketing and advertising. What I like most, apart from designing clothes, is creating content - taking photos for Instagram, writing posts, designing graphics. I also had experience running Facebook pages for other companies and setting up ads, so I was confident I could handle it.

Of course, as with most things and phenomena in this world, expectations and reality are, to put it mildly, two different things. Having a lot of freedom in creating content, coming up with topics, taking graphics and photos on a daily basis, I found a client from an industry that is, let's call it a bit more restrictive. My job involved much more tedious moderation of discussions, creating response templates, stock photos (as shown above) and staying on schedule than the creativity I was used to. After the first excitement - "I will work with other people!", "I will work for a big, well-known client!", "I will learn so many new things!" I began to think that working full-time was not really my cup of tea.


3 2 1 we turn back

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I used to come home from work with the belief that I hadn't done anything that day to be proud of, and I was close to tears while standing in traffic for an hour and a half. However, the time spent at the agency had many advantages. First of all, and most importantly, I am now sure that I prefer to fulfill my dreams, not someone else's, and although I don't know how much work it would cost me, it is definitely worth it. I also know that even though I spend most of my time alone, I can and like working with people, that I'm not afraid of deadlines, I can work under pressure and that if Belle doesn't work out, there is a plan B. I also know that I don't have no problem with someone other than me being the boss, I learned new tools and learned how to work in Excel and tables. As I missed creating things and art, I signed up for ceramics at that time - this is also one of the advantages of working full-time! These six months were a bit like another world for me, and although the journey was interesting and taught me a lot, I was happy to return to myself and to you.

If you have any questions related to working in an agency, or are considering changing your job from a full-time job to your own business or vice versa, write to me on Facebook or Instagram, I will be happy to talk to you!

Leave a comment